Today I am going to lay out the truth. I hurt, and its all because of me. Today I came to Mesa to shoot fireworks with my family. I was going to stay home and hold my baby close while we watched fireworks, but he made plans with his friends so I assumed I should just come home. I hate coming home. I miss it and hate it all at the same time. There is just something about being in this place alone that gets to me. This place forgets that I have another life, that I have actual friends back home. That I would rather call Tucson home than this place. But I am here, alone. I wish so badly that he would have taken the time off work to come and be with me. MAybe he doesnt know how much it hurts to be here without him. MAybe I just complain too much about him not saving me. But I did ask him on the third date what he was doing on the fourth and that he should come with me and my family, it doesnt matter, as much as I bitch and moan it doesnt make him here. So I tried to call him I told him I would pay for gas if he took the hour and a half car ride up here. I need him so badly. But is he here? Is he on his way? Nope. I dont know how to feel. I shouldnt expect things from him but we just got out of this giant arguement about how he never saves me from my pain.



So I got drunk.





With my family.